Bipolar peeps know all about this one; how difficult it can be sticking with your meds. People around you get frustrated when you're off your meds. To them, it may seem basic math simple. Take meds, act less crazy. Go off meds, act more crazy. Right? Well...
The truth, as the truth often is, far more complex than that. When these same people are questioned as to why they don't take a multi-vitamin or birth control or blood pressure meds, they usually have the same response; "well, I just don't like putting anything 'unnatural' in my body". Or, the straightforward, "I just don't like taking meds." People also tend to not like exercise, eat healthy food, and eat junk food in moderation. People like to smoke and drink alcohol. Maybe you can see where I'm getting with this. People don't always follow a doctor's advice, are frequently resistant to and even afraid of medication, and don't always make the quote on quote "best choices" for themselves. It's part of the human condition.
So acting like a bipolar person is defiant, ridiculous, and even stupid for going off their meds is at best hypocritical. But lets dive deeper. Why would a person with bipolar stop taking meds?
1. It can be hard to remember. Many of us have multiple meds taken at multiple times. Do you know how hard that can be to keep track of?
2. Meds have bad side effects. Oh yes, on paper mental health trumps enormous weight gain, but in reality you know what makes you depressed? Swelling like a balloon in an air pump. Having your clothes seemingly shrink to the size of a doll, that's how far away they are from fitting your new figure. You know what also sucks? The million and one other side effects from meds, like nausea, dizziness, sleeping all the time, and inability to achieve an orgasm. Yea. Back to the depression thing.
3. Meds are scary. You heard me. Meds ARE scary. Especially ones that are intended to mess with your brain. Your brain! That very important organ that kinda defines everything about who you are (assuming we leave religion out of this).
4. Accepting yourself vs your illness, and separating the two. This kind of ties back into number 3. It can be really difficult and emotionally draining to see yourself in a new light, or to feel like parts of your innate nature need to be medicated into oblivion.
5. Meds aren't a cure. It's not unusual for family members to act like, well, game over, meds are in your system, now you are cured and everything should be supreme. Nope! A bipolar person, or anyone one with an MI for that matter, can still experience symptom flares. Despite taking medication, I still have manicky moments where I think I would do better without my meds.
So, in moments of forgetfulness, depression over side effects, fear, uncertainty, or leak through symptoms, sometimes the bipolar person goes off their meds for a day, or a week, or a month. Now, not every bipolar person will experience symptoms and some will blend in seamlessly with all the people. But some truly need to be on meds. We all know this. And it does suck when a person who needs meds is off of them. It sucks to be around, it sucks to live with, it plain sucks. I get it. But lets try a little compassion and empathy for someone who is struggling with a serious illness that plays tricks and fights dirty.
Now I have to go. It's time to take my meds.
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